Mating in Captivity


Recommended if desire for your partner has dwindled or disappeared, you are feeling unfulfilled, stuck or conflicted about sex, your long-term relationship feels safe but dull, or you’re avoiding long-term commitment for fear of this feeling.


We say:

This is not a book of sex tips! In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel unpicks the social, cultural and psychological factors that can weigh heavy on long-term partnerships and the paradoxes in what we want from commitment. She looks into what stokes and what kills desire. She invites you to awaken your curiosity and unpack this part of yourself, for your own sake.

“If commitment requires a trade-off of freedom for security, then eroticism is the gateway back to freedom. In the broad expansiveness of our imagination we uncover the freedom that allows us to tolerate the confines of reality”

Many people seek counselling for relationship difficulties – either individually or with a partner. Some counsellors, like Perel, specialise in this work, especially for working with pairs or groups, but all counsellors can address questions about sex, intimacy and how you communicate in all kinds of relationships.

The focus in Mating in Captivity is on cis-gender married couples (straight and gay). If you are polyamorous, trans, non-binary or not in a marriage-like relationship, you might find Finally, Helpful Sex Advice: A Practical Guide to Sex by Meg-John Barker and Justin Hancock speaks to you more directly (we also recommend this book for everyone – it’s excellent).

Additional information

Format Paperback
Weight 192 g
Dimensions 197 × 129 × 17 mm
Book Author

ISBN 9780340943755

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